It’s true. Let’s break this down.
- It was winter quarter. Now, being new to Northwestern and the Chicago area, I had yet to experience a winter like the one I experienced this year. However, people who have lived in the Chicago area for their entire lives ALSO had never experienced a winter like this. On a given day, you would look at the weather and it would be like “You’re fine, it’s totally above 0 degrees today, champ”, but then, you step outside and your exposed skin starts to burn because you just entered a wind tunnel of icy death. So you proceed to double check the weather, and it’s like “LOL forgot to tell you about the -40 degree windchill that I put in tiny print under the temperature hahahahahahahaha sucks to be you.” THANKS FOR NOTHING, WEATHER APP. Moral of the story: don’t forget to check the windchill before exiting your home with less than 14 pieces of clothing on. God hates you.
Jon Snow AKA me this winter:
- I’m pretty sure the Northwestern administrations was like “OK, here’s the plan: we offer literally the worst courses ever for winter quarter because everyone is miserable anyways and they’ll be totally fine with it.” For example, to fulfill my distribution requirements, I had to take Art History’s Intro to Modernism. If you have ever met me, you probably know that I would prefer to do 30 straight hours of calculus than read two pages in a book about modern art. Honestly, who did Kazimir Malevich think he was? I get that you’re trying to start an artistic revolution and all but let’s get real, you painted a black square on a white canvas. And then you painted a white square on a white canvas. It literally does not get more meta than that. Oh, and don’t get me started on Jackson Pollack. I could write essays on why I found Jackson Pollack annoying, but I’ll spare you.
Cool story, Kazimir. Can’t wait to study this painting for 3 weeks.
- I experimented with an on-campus job, because I am most definitely not flushed with cash. Part one of this struggle was with the lack of cash itself, and part two was with the job I experienced. Quick background: I detest small talk. I find it to be silly, awkward, and uninteresting. My job LITERALLY was to conduct small talk with alums on the phone and ask them for money. Could I have picked a job that was less suited for me? Perhaps becoming a professional basketball player would have been less suited to me, or cooking meth, but I can’t think of many others. Essentially, this job brought me mountains of anxiety and hatred for the world that I could not handle, so I quit. Quitting this job was one of the greatest decisions I have ever made. Truly. Next time you get a call from your alma mater asking you for money, take pity on them. The poor soul on the phone may sound chipper, but deep down, their soul is slowly dying. Just give them $5. You can afford it. Skip the venti non-fat soy macchiato for a day in exchange for a shred of the student on the phone’s dignity. Don’t make them click “No Pledge”, it takes a toll.
Emotions when an alum tells me they don’t want to talk to me, they don’t want to give me money, and to never call them again:
So basically, that was my winter.