I goddamn love Korean pop music, guys. Boy bands, girl bands, I don’t discriminate. They are all flawless.
However, today, we will focus on boy bands, because they destroy me. And they will destroy you, too. And Korea knows how to do boy bands, and honestly, the US is just not on their level. Britain is getting closer, I mean they brought us the perfection that is 1D, so that’s an A+ forever. The US however, who have they brought us? These fools (bless their hearts), and whatever is going on here (holster that, JT).
I digress. Reasons I love Korean boy bands (I’ve gone full Buzzfeed here):
- They have taken American culture and made it into something confusing and wonderful.
- They do exceedingly strange things with their hair and manage to still look great.
- They are so sensitive. I mean, look at this fellow in his cute little bird sweater cuddling a tiny puppy. Also, FYI, in this music video, he goes to give this tiny puppy to his woman, only to find that she is with another man. Is your heart broken yet? Watch the video in all its glory while crying yourself to sleep here.
- They like to dance around in slightly damaged suits and sneakers while expressing their masculinity through dance. Also they’re really good dancers.
- Did you think all they did was dance and sing? You’re wrong. They rap at your face like they own you. They also wear flat-rim caps while rapping at you face. Also you feel like what they’re saying is aggressive and/or sexual but you’re not at all sure because you don’t speak Korean.
- THEY KNOW THAT THEY OWN YOU. LOOK AT THIS GUY. He definitely knows his face was constructed according to the golden ratio.
- What did I say about their dancing skills? This dance move is extremely advanced and only for experienced boy band-ers. I call it the “electric mixer in your pocket”.
- In the world of k-pop, not only is it normal to wear clothing made of glitter, it’s encouraged. This guy definitely knows how to work a glitter shirt (and a crowd).
- Members of Korean boy bands are team players. They know that sometimes, you gotta let one guy sing while you hang back and sway your arms in support and/or glare at the audience while slow clapping à la Mr. Studded Blazer in the middle there.
Here are some links to get you started on your journey:
God bless Korea.