Hey, Summer, I thought we were friends. But I guess I’ll just hang with Fall now.

Friends don’t abandon friends, Summer. It’s like you just wanted to give me a taste of your splendor and then rip it away from me mercilessly. It’s like everything was fine and dandy, and then today you were like “Hey, Em, quick update: this is your last weekend of the summer and you have to start school on Tuesday.”

Excuse me? How dare you.

“Oh, and also you are now working 12 hours/week so you’re not poor plus another 3 hours where you will continue to make 0$/hour but you are too passive to quit.”

You know what, Summer? I came out to have a good time and I’m feeling so attacked right now. What I’m getting at here is that Summer is a first-class bitch and has left me here all by myself to deal with Fall and her pumpkin-spiced negative attitude. I’m not looking forward to it.

But my largest concern with Fall is that she lives RIGHT NEXT DOOR to the biggest a-hole of all: Winter. Fall tempts us with her pretty orange leaves and breezes just cool enough for us to wear beanies, but all she’s really doing is subtly softening the blow for when Winter comes around. She’ll try and make us feel good and think “Oh, this cold weather isn’t so bad” but it’s all a facade. The excitement of the new school year is not enough to make me forgive you, Fall. I know what you’re doing.

But I digress. So what will I be doing in the limited free time that I will have? I will indulge in Fall’s greatest perk. It’s something that almost makes me forget the deceit. It’s Fall television.

Because I am a lover of the half-hour sitcom, my Hulu homepage becomes fruitful again when the leaves start to fall. The abundance of little green “New Episode” boxes brings me life and hope for a triumphant season. Now that I know you are all wondering what shows excite me, I WILL TELL YOU. Here are the shows I’m jazzed for, ranked by my level of eagerness.

5. New Girl

nick miller

Although New Girl isn’t at the top of my list, I will most definitely still watch it. I feel like it has its moments of utter hilarity, mostly starring Nick Miller, but I also think it has deteriorated from its start. Some characters have developed and gotten amazing (cough cough Winston Bishop), some have remained consistently excellent (cough Nick Miller cough), and some have plateaued (Jessica Day cough cough). Ultimately, I continue to enjoy it and kind of just can’t stop watching it even though it’s not my favorite anymore. So that’s where I’m at here. But god bless Nick Miller.

4. Modern Family

come back mf

I am so excited for the return of this show. It never fails to entertain me because it is the bomb. And it has won like 4 million Emmys. Because it rocks and has been on forever and seriously just keeps getting better. Also my parents love this show. THREE CHEERS FOR GOOD CLEAN FAMILY FUN!!! However, it is not quite at the caliber of my top three. But don’t get me wrong, this show is bomb. In a positive way.

3. The Mindy Project

mindy chocolate fountain

Oh, Mindy, how I love you. What I love about this show is how much it has developed over its two seasons. It has gotten funnier and funnier, especially since Peter Prentice joined the team last season and made me laugh uncontrollably at everything he said. And since Morgan has continued to get weirder and weirder. AND SINCE MINDY AND DANNY ARE A THING NOW. Manny/Dandy forever. Also, I love me a comedic leading lady.

2. Brooklyn Nine-Nine

captain puppies

If you are not watching this show, you should be. I’ll be honest, it took me awhile to get into it, but it truly has delivered. I mean, look at this gif of the captain trying to give away adorable puppies. How can you resist that face?? And I think Andy Samberg is my spirit animal. And I aspire to be Chelsea Peretti. CAN THIS SHOW BE BACK ALREADY PLEASE I MISS IT SO MUCH.

1. Parks and Recreation

Andy

YES, I KNOW, IT’S NOT COMING BACK UNTIL MID-SEASON. But what, was I supposed to not put it on my list? I don’t know how long I can wait for season 7 before I explode. What can I say? Parks and Rec will forever be my boo. My one and only. Except for the four other shows that I listed. Also those. But mostly Parks and Rec. I am obsessed with every character on this show. I mean, just look at this gif. It honestly was nearly impossible for me to choose a gif because they are all perfect. Like, just google “parks and rec gif” and enjoy the ride. BUT IT’S THE FINAL SEASON GUYS, WHAT WILL I DO NEXT FALL? But let us treasure it while we still have time. Also, watch this show, you fool. Treat yo self.

What can I say? Deep down, I love Fall.

johnny

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